Monday, August 07, 2006

Whilst Packing for the Burbs

So I've decided to move to the burbs for reasons that are obvious, but which I'll detail in greater length on my radio show some day.

That being said, when you move, of course you have to start packing, cleaning, and go through boxes you hadn't unpacked from your previous move that contain things that your memory has long forgotten.

And while rummaging through old pictures, post cards, deciding what to keep and what to throw, I happened upon what was arguably my first economic poem ever written, circa 1996.

Only but a junior in college, I was taking a master's level course in international economics because it knocked out two requirements. It also happened to have had a knock out blond in the class who vied for my attention against the professor's lectures.

Of course, college classroom strategery dictated that you wait until most of the people are sitting down on the first day of class before you do so you can choose the seat next to the cutie of the class. And even if there is no assigned seating, people will be prone to sit in the same seat they did on the first day of class, thereby guaranteeing you a spot right next to the cute dame. From thence on you have a captured audience for the next 9 weeks.

So I played by the rules. Didn't hit on her. Let time work to my advantage. And over the course of time found out she was the PRESIDENT of the U OF MN'S ECONOMICS GRADUATE STUDENT ASSOCIATION! Could she be any hotter?

And then came my stroke of genius. I would wait until the final was being taken, finish first (which arrogance and cockiness set aside, I knew I would) and then drop off my genius poem that would surely win her heart over and we'd engage ourselves in eternal economic bliss. And how could she refuse? For the poem was pure genius;



Alas, somehow she managed to find a way to refuse, for I never received a call. Of course this is now approaching over a decade ago and I'm very much over it... that bitch.

4 comments:

Gabriel M said...

Awesome! Is your poem for sale?

Captain Capitalism said...

I think I already threw it away. I can check the garbage for a price that is greater than the disutility I will suffer from rummaging through garbage.

That being said, certainly feel free to plagiarize it.

Alfred T. Mahan said...

Thus, a Lyrical Legend was born. Cohan, Gershwin, Berlin...Clarey. Now, if you could only start cranking out the economically-themed Top 40 hits, you'd be set for life.

Poetry is for beatniks, after all.

Captain Capitalism said...

Hey, anytime you can come up with better economic poetry, I'm only more than willing to post it here.