Wednesday, March 04, 2009

U2 Sucks

Yes, sorry to inform you, U2, does indeed suck.

I realized this NOT after the US Bureau of Labor Statistics came out with a study that empirically proves that U2 sucks, but after having to listen to it non-stop for 30 minutes in an Irish bar.

"SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!

SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAYYYYYYY!!!!"

Please, somebody out there tell me how in god's name U2 became so damn popular? Is it the bland suburbanite masses who find Ruby Tuesday's chicken quesadillas too spicy the same people that somehow think this incessant, non-stop blathering, droning of whinny Irishmen (and just so you know I'm Irish, and yes, they are whinny) is "unique" sounding? Or is it just the socio-political standing of U2 that compels people to "say" they like U2, when deep down inside they know they suck. Their singing is about as good as their ability to stay poverty in Africa.

I remember being in middle school I think and there being advertisements for "Rattle and Hum." Truly, and I mean this, Huey Lewis and the News was way better.

Now, if you want an aging band of boomers that still has some talent left in them, I'll give you Aerosmith. But come on, U freaking 2? Hang on while I watch this Viva Viagra commercial.

16 comments:

Andrew L said...

They're average in my books, but the enjoyability of some of their songs (Vertigo, Elevation) is kind of eclipsed by Bono's Pompousness. If that guy would just shut up (or alternately put his money where his mouth is) more often I'd like his band a lot more.

Now Nickelback, there's a group who's popularity will always be a mystery.

Wowplayer said...

"Whinny" is an onomatopoetic word for a horse's utterance. "Whiny" is an adjective that indicates a predisposition to whining.

Captain Capitalism said...

Thanks Josh, duly noted. Grammar and English are not my forte.

Anonymous said...

George Bush sings Sunday, Bloody Sunday better than Bono.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyMUu6O-SBI

Anonymous said...

U2 is a classic '80s band. Boy and War albums were among my favorites in Jr High. Rattle & Hum is when they went Pop and down hill.
I will give them credit - Bono and the band tried attacking the main stream media for beating up on Bush. They said Bush does not deserve that kind of treatment and he spent our hard earned tax dollars on fighting AIDS in Africa.
Now I am not sure if I like U2 or dislike Bush now!

Anonymous said...

I stopped listening to them after the Joshua Tree, when they gave their punk roots the finger and started writing pop songs.

In '87 when Joshua Tree was released, my friends, who knew I liked U2, came to me and asked me "What is this crap?" And I had no answer. The technologically cool Infinite Sustain used in With or Without You just adds to the whiny tone of the song, the rest of the pop hits on the album, to me, lost what it was that I liked about U2. The only song on that I liked was One Tree Hill, a song written about the death of Bono's close friend, i.e. a song that actually touched the band.

CBMTTek said...

In the latest news, Bono has been having a hard time keeping his heart on his sleeve. He's thinking about pinning it on, as it keeps falling off.

And, in an interesting break from tradition, the Edge promises that he will learn to play the other 4 strings on his guitar "real soon."

Anonymous said...

I simply don't know how in hell they got so popular, it's a phenomenom simply beyond my understanding.

Sometimes I do have the feeling that I have actually been sleeping since the 80s. Of course I vaguely remember, by then, this crappy commercial band with his ridiculous clips, his moronic singer, and their grotesque guitarist. Not to mention the extreme lameness of their melodies.

I suddenly woke up in the 21th century, and they were considered a legend of rock .... I still cant explain this.

Do you guys realize that there is a risk that our kids may actually think this band is a rock reference?

Hot Sam said...

Back in grad school, evenings were all about drinking beer or "shark bowls", 80's music, Karaoke, and sex, usually in that order.

After a few pitchers, we'd select songs for each other to sing. But the catch was that you had to sing the song as if you were some celebrity or a cartoon character, e.g.

"Like a Virgin" by Richard Nixon

"Copacabana" by Sean Connery.

"Lean on Me" by Tweety Bird.

My favorite was when I had a friend sing "Pride in the Name of Love" in the voice of Elmer Fudd. I've never been able to take U2 seriously since that night.

Anonymous said...

i fucking hate this band too.
they should take theyre senior music and stuff it.

Christopher said...

CBMTTek said it all. I don't resent Bono for his activism - heck, power to him. But the music is pathetic and makes the Monkees and Archies seem actually talented.

Anonymous said...

DAMN!, I hate this band!, U2 has to be the most overrated band OF ALL TIMES!, they SUCK and I just can't understand why people would like such a crappy band.

Anonymous said...

Joshua Swink, im glad we have people like you that dont read the posts because thier interested in it or have an opinion, but for the purpose of keeping internet grammar perfect.

All that needs to be said about U2 is look at thier fans. Enough said. (I'll go further) U2 fans take being lame seriously, I know 2 people that are big U2 fans and they rarly ever leave thier house. They never go to concerts or see local bands play, and the saddest thing is that both of them use the 'itunes' recommended playlists. They have never put an original song on thier Ipod, all recommended crap from itunes. That tells you all you need to know about true U2 fans, so if your tired of life then U2 is the band for you.

PS. To be nice I left some grammar to correct.

Anonymous said...

I've been saying it for a long time. U2 are just an average band with an incredible management team. They are doing a great job promoting the band.

If you wanna read something funny on the band, check this out:
http://www.whythisblogsucks.com/2009/10/13/why-u2-sucks/

Anonymous said...

I knew they sucked when my gay friend Henry S switched from Genesis to U2 in the 70's, still they were less annoying than a pimple on my ass. They really started to annoy me when they played at the inauguration. Now they are in my town crowding the streets with gaggles of fat bellied fans. Thank god they finally got too big, perhaps now the band will fade away.

xanax said...

sounds kindof good if you think of it