Monday, February 29, 2016

The Clarey Podcast - "The Return of Cappy" Episode

Cappy returns to HQ and talks about:


His triumphal return, crickets, and wanderlust
The one bad review of "Curse of the High IQ"
Using jail to avoid alimony
Is Oprah losing her influence?
Idiots who wore Raiders jackets in the 90's
1,428 in business finally goes bankrupt
Why is there debt???

And more!!!

In THIS EPISODE of The Clarey Podcast!

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Redheads in Hot Tubs

All love "Curse of the High IQ!"


Omnipresent Noise of Gen X Bar Owners

My friend called me and said, "Hey, we're going to be near your neck of the woods and a band is playing at one of the local bars.  Do you want to join us and attend?"

Naturally, because of the convenience I agreed and was looking forward to my friend and her friends visit.

However, upon walking into the bar I realized they decided to bivouac right in front of the monstrously loud band, in part because the birthday girl of the party rarely got out, and also in part because of this group's naivety about bars.  They were of the married-with-children variety and so, of course, ANY bar with ANY music must be a better bar than one without.  Still, this did not forgive the fact that the band was so loud and their proximity to it so close that it was literally impossible to have a conversation.  It was so bad that for the first time in my life my friend and I were having a text conversation when we were no more than 1 foot away from each other.  It LITERALLY was the best way to communicate.

Time warp back a mere two weeks ago and a similar such situation also occurred.  I was at La Casa, one of my favorite cigar lounges in Las Vegas.  It was Friday night so naturally it was mandatory the lounge hire a loud and amplified band to blare music into what was normally a quiet and serene cigar lounge during the day.  The music was so loud that when I was trying to buy my cigar the connoisseur could not hear me and said, "what?" which prompted me to yell (with full intent to imply he fucktardedly hired a band that was too loud)

I WANT A V CUT AND A DIET COKE!!!!

He jumped back because I yelled so loud, but you could see in his eyes that maybe...

just maybe...

he got the fact that the band he hired was maybe...

just maybe...

a weeeeeee bit too loud since people one foot away from him had to blare out his ear drum so he could understand which type of cut his customers wanted on their freaking cigars.

Alas, it is time for a plea to all the bars, cigar lounges, night clubs, and venues in America for one simple thing.

Turn down the fucking music.

I know that as the 50's have faded so too has the quality, caliber, intelligence and wit of your average American.  I know the baby boomers lacked the Cary Grant and Walter Matthau charm that was an acquired skill needed to woo and whittle people's fancies, so they introduced Woodstock, concerts, and bars as the usurper to ballroom dancing to meet one's mate.  And I know that today your modern day Gen X'ers and Millennials lack any conversational skills whatsoever and are in desperate need of "noise" to cover this gaping inadequacy so they might futilely "grind" or stumble their way to a stable, divorce-proof nuclear family.

But in constantly making venues so loud, so cacophonous, you are denying Americans (and westerners) the much-needed training they need to hone, practice, and develop their charismatic and conversational skills.  And by association, their ability to become charming, intellectual, wooing, engaging, interesting, and devastating adults. And that is a price society pays in spades.

I know, I know, it's easier for the mop-headed sheeple inferiors of society to just walk into a sports bar with blaring music to yell at a girl

"I THINK YOU'RE HAWT!!!!!"

or

"CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK!!???"

as they slightly tilt their flat-brimmed cap 3 degrees to the left.

And I know, I know the entire night club industry heavily relies on loud blaring music to make it impossible for a man to get to know a girl, but still enable him to buy her drinks.

I know.

But in the end, this bullshit will end.  And here's the reason why.

Teh interwebz.

In addition to buttfucking the snooty east coast New York publishing houses with self publishing

and

In addition to ass-raping the arrogant west cost recording labels with iTunes and MP3's

the internet has now usurped the dating/meat market from night clubs and bars to that of online dating, social media, and just general digital flirtation. 

I've been out of the dating market for about 7 years, but if I ever had to go back I would NEVER set foot into

a night club
a bar
a discotech
or a
"hot spot"

ever again.

I'd be on the internet the entire time because....

well...

it's quiet.

And I can listen to jazz or the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack

all while trying to land me some play. 

That is the impossible competition you idiot "noise pimps" are competing against today.

But at least in the 90's there was a low enough volume level that you could theoretically and practically speak to girls.  I know many times at First Avenue (Prince's former club) it was not IMPOSSIBLE to speak with a woman using the English language.  But at this latest bar and this latest cigar lounge, forget it.  You noise whores have jacked up the volume SO MUCH there was ABSOLUTELY no way to not only woo a woman with charm, wit, and charisma, but I couldn't plain have a fucking conversation with my friends.  And while you bar/cigar lounge/night club owners may be 100% right that today's single, inept, intellectually-retarded rejects lack the intellectual capacity for ANY intelligent conversation, blaring music so loud to assist them as a handicap merely drives every one of genuine value and worth away.

We'd simply like to hear what the person 12 FUCKING INCHES AWAY FROM US ARE SAYING, even though you think we're so lacking in intelligence we need your loud blaring noise to absolve us of the "chore" of conversation. 

Regardless, it doesn't matter.

The generational migration is moving from the night club to online.  This is where the VAST majority of millennials and Gen "Z-er's" interact socially (and romantically) and (since these are the younger, and thus hotter people) soon the stereotypical loud bar will be obsolete, and thus a thing of the past.  It will be a museum memorial to the Gen X and Baby Boomer generations.  It will be as pathetic as the "our time" baby boomer dating site or Oprah's and the women's magazine industry's attempt to convince 60 year old women they're still hot and "cougars."  And the more and more you attempt to compensate for the fact people have no social skills, making the music so loud conversation is impossible, the more and more intelligent and competent people you will drive away.

Soon, just like Florida or Sturgis, you'll have nothing but wrinkly, pruny-boobed Gen X, intellectually-inferior gray hairs coming into your club hoping to get a taste of geriatric Z-Cavaricci ass as they reminisce about the 80's and get nostalgic about "Iron Maiden" and "The Scorpions."  Which will be fine.

Because most will be deaf by that age anyway.

So please, turn up the music just a little bit more.  I think I could actually hear that fount of intelligence my buddy 10 inches away from me said.  And I wouldn't want to hear anything intelligent in a public social setting because that shitty ass band you hired is doing a shitty ass rendition of Kurt Cocaine's crappy ass 90's song so loud it's more important I waste some brain cells listening to that shit than merely hearing music in the background while at the same time....

GASP!!!!!

BEING ABLE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION!!!!

Oh, I'm sorry...

BEING ABLE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION!!!

Welcome Refugees!

Fucking hilarious!

New Pilot Program for Cappy Cap

On account my voice is nasally and not "Sean Connery-esque" not to mention I don't have the patience for scripted readings, I'm entertaining enlisting the help of audio professionals to read posts since I know many of you don't like to read, but rather would listen.  Would very much appreciate your input on the young man who was kind enough to offer this as an audition sample:


Friday, February 26, 2016

Seemingly More Fake Rape Stories Than Real Ones

Just noticed something.  The majority of stories about rape are about false rape accusations than real rape victims.  If this is any proxy, my logical mind is only going to be forced to believe the majority of women are crying wolf and are not to be trusted.  Sorry, I just don't have any more fucks to give.

The Tough and Tortured Life of Today's Millennials

I think I'm going to now officially declare the Millennials now officially more spoiled than the Baby Boomers and Gen X.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The Epitome of Vanity

Seriously, I know the Baby Boomers and the Gen Xer's were vain, but we NEVER named a fucking magazine after our generations.

Unless the owners of the magazines are savvy Boomers/X'ers who know to pander to the egos of the Millennials.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Episode #135 of The Clarey Podcast!

Podcasting with the GReat Matt Baldoni
Being on the road and homesickness
Evolution of internet media
MGTOWs and VirginTOWs
Las Vegas night clubs suck
How the internet destroyed fliers

AND MORE!!!

In THIS EPISODE of The Clarey Podcast!

Cappy's Las Vegas Adventure

Including Oatman, AZ too!









Monday, February 22, 2016

Thank You Dr. Helen!

Of PJ Media fame!

Why Twitter's Politics Ultimately Doesn't Matter

With the much publicized removal of Milo Yiannopoulus' Twitter account's "authenticity", not to mention the outright removal of various controversial conservative twitterers' Twitter accounts, many on the right are up in arms about what seems to be a purposed, biased, and leftist agenda by Twitter to essentially limit the speech of those on the right.

Does Twitter have the right to do such things?
Yes.

Should Twitter ban anybody?
No.

Is Twitter's bias to the left?
Yes.

Should we form another "alternative Twitter?"
Yes.

But all of this debate and kerfuffle about Twitter and how they seem to have it out for non-leftists is moot because while it is immoral and wrong to let politics influence what is effectively an avenue of speech, the simple truth is...

Twitter is not going to exist much longer. 

The cold hard truth is that Twitter is not financially viable.  It's bankrupt, it's insolvent, and unless they start making some killer profit in the next 6 months they are either going to have to file for bankruptcy or find a VERY charitable investor to infuse their money-losing operation with tons of cash just to keep it afloat another couple years.

You can look at the details here and here, but after issuing "convertible notes" (which is just a fancy term for "borrow money") on the order of $1.8 billion in 2014, the company simply lost ANOTHER $500 million in 2015 like it did in 2014.  This is in addition to the perpetual string of annual losses it has ran since...well..forever, and is proof the company is just not a profitable concern.

But what is particularly interesting about this Dotcom Bomb v. 2.0 are two items.

One, if you look at their cash flow statement the majority of "investments" they make are not in property, plant, or equipment, but marketable securities (stocks and bonds).  This would be normal if Twitter were a hedge fund or an investment bank.  But since it's a social media tech company, it's a sign they don't have faith in their core business and seem to think dumping the proceeds from that $1.8 billion loan into the stock market is a better investment.

Two, the media's BLATANT attempt to mask Twitter's financial problems as "growing pains" or just "standard operating procedure" for a start up (search any new article about Twitter's finances).

I'm sorry, but NO, this is PRECISELY the same BS I saw in the run up to the Dotcom bubble and the housing bubble as well.  Charlatan Wall Street talking heads drowning you with pablum to obfuscate the fact this company is a money-losing craphole and has no value.  I don't know how many bubbles we have to go through where a company loses half a billion dollars a year (after year...after year...after year) before sanity sinks into the heads of retail and institutional investors and they realize "Oh, crap!  This company is garbage!" but apparently it's happening here again.  I'm too tired to find out why this is this time (politics, feel good pretty lies, connections, big money backing, etc.), but buying a company that is losing all of its real equity balance every year is like paying somebody to punch you in the face.  It plain doesn't make sense.

Ultimately, my point about Twitter is not one of finances or economics.  It's not even one of politics.  It's one of philosophy.

Look, yes, I know Twitter may have a bias against anybody not-left.  I know Twitter likely has leftists working at its helm and in its ranks.  And I know it's dishonorable to ban people for their political opinions.  But it ultimately doesn't matter what Twitter does politically because unless it's bailed out by a rich benefactor, it's going to inevitably run out of money and shut down.  The only way it can continue to exist is if the democrat party (or a branch thereof) continues to perpetually fund it as a money-losing, but press-releasing media arm (which I would not be surprised if they do).

Otherwise, may I suggest for both of you on the right and left who use it as a social media press-release tool to start finding an alternative? Because that which cannot go on forever, won't.

Aaron Clarey is a mean, hate filled economist who unleashes his hatred upon society by telling the truth and putting reality above people's feelings.  You can hire him at his consultancy, Asshole Consulting. You may also buy his latest book "Curse of the High IQ" where he explains why you are surrounded by a world full of idiots.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

The Father Could Not Be Reached for Comment

Ahhhhh, actresses who raise adopted kids without fathers.  A recipe for success.

Say Good Bye to Military Pensions

Looks like the military got wise to me and is phasing out pensions.  Damn

Friday, February 19, 2016

Do Women Want Justice or Drama?

Whether it’s authentic cases in the case of the feminist being groped, or an outright false rape accusation like Mattress Girl Emma Sulkowicz, or a questionable one like my ex girlfriend, it’s nothing more than the dopamine high women get when they stir up drama and controversy, playing the ultimate trump card of “sexual assault” to rally and rile the masses of men to give them so much attention they might OD on it.

And while I wish I could say this was only “demented women,” nearly all women will belabor you with their problems, NOT to solve them, but simply to play off of your male instincts for justice or simple kindness as a ploy to hold you hostage to get attention. This is an absolute insult to men and it should never be tolerated.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Cappy's Adventure in SoCal (Balboa Island and Del Mar)

More pictures from the road trip.  Finally got to the Pacific ocean.  Vegas is the next stop.







IQ, Bikes, and Mating Patterns

A review of Curse of the High IQ from Mangan, but also some interesting historical tidbits about how mating patterns changed with the advent of the bicycle.

Monday, February 15, 2016

"Smart Girls Read Clarey"

Yes, yes, they most certainly do!

Why Amy Schumer Is So Popular

It was 2013 and I was road tripping out in the American south west.  I was lucky enough to get a car with Sirius satellite radio which meant even in the most remote locales of the country I was able to listen to pretty much whatever I wanted.  So there I was, in Canyonlands National Park, far far away from the only civilization in Moab, when a hilarious comedian by the name of Amy Schumer came on the air.

She was funny.
She was hilarious.
She made my trip all that much enjoyable.

And I took a note in my little notepad to look her up when I returned home.

But like many items on my to do list, I forgot to look her up.  And whereas normally this would mean the name "Amy Schumer" would likely forever be lost on a piece of paper as I unconsciously threw it in the garbage, I would NEVER forget Amy Schumer because at about that same time the

traditional media
social media
alternative media
print media
and
Hollywood

went gangbusters promoting the hell out of Amy Schumer, ne'er letting me forget this woman existed.

Oddly, however, it wasn't her comedy as much as it was just...well...her they were promoting.  Not that she had done anything amazing (aside from her comedy), but quite the opposite.  She was just your average, obese American woman, and the media had launched a cognizant and purposeful campaign blitz celebrating that fact.

She was Amy Schumer!
She was large and in charge!
She was body-positive!
And she's all about feminism!

3 years later neither you nor I can go a week without seeing her on some social media meme, on the cover of a trashy grocery store magazine, or some other such theatrics blasted over the internet.

She's Amy Schumer!
And by god she's overweight!
And she's in your face about it!
And we're going to celebrate this fact!
HA!

Naturally, this in-your-face-24-7-Amy-Schumer-channel has ruffled the feathers of conservatives, libertarians, or people who just don't like being told what they should and should not find attractive.  But in addition to this (intended and planned) revulsion, a common question coming from my conservative and libertarian circles, AS WELL as some associates of mine on the left is:

Why the hell is Amy Schumer so popular?

And it is here a very important lesson lies for us all, regardless of politics,  So strap in lieutenants and pour yourselves a stiff one because in understanding why Amy Schumer is so popular you will be able to attain an element of serenity and calm previously not had before.

By all measures of sanity and logic Amy Schumer should be popular because of her comedy and humor.  My hatred for her does not blind me to the fact she is an incredibly talented comedian and is one of the funniest people I've heard.  But if you look at nearly ALL of the media, attention, and hype Schumer has received in the past couple of years it has NOT been to promote her comedy, her humor, or her literary works, but rather push a political agenda, namely one of fat acceptance (and to a larger extent, feminism).

A sane and logical mind would ask "what gives?"  Why would she abandon her true talent of humor to become just another harpy harping on fat-acceptance and feminism?  The market is flooded with such women, and it certainly is not as rewarding as being a comedian.

But while you're focusing on her talent as a humorist (and the general hatred that mars the world of feminism), what you fail to see is a market that is MUCH larger than the comedy market, and one that is much more profitable:

Pretty lies.

Currently the largest industry in the world right now is government.  Governments are the largest organizations by far, they are the largest consumers of resources, and they employ the most amount of people.  But in Western governments in particular the primary service they provide is not

defense
roads
infrastructure
cops
or
judicial systems

but rather...

pretty lies.

And these lies are told with the sole purpose of getting corrupt politicians re-elected so they can avoid real jobs in the real world/private sector.

You're not poor because you had 6 children from 4 different fathers.
You're poor because you're black and whitey hates you.

You're not making 76% of what men make because you majored in "French Lesbian Communication Studies."
You're making 76% of what men make because "sexism."

And you're not an overpaid union member who drove jobs overseas with your bloated pay.
You're a victim of "The Evil Corporations Maaaaan!"

This racket is a multi-trillion dollar industry and is the largest scam ran on all of humanity....

except for religion.

It is no coincidence that the predecessor to government was religion.  Previous to those evil-white-males introducing secular government and ending the pointless deaths caused by theocracies, religion was the state and maintained this age-long multi-trillion dollar racket by providing the same service modern day governments do:

Pretty lies.

"There's an afterlife!"
"You're immortal!  You're all going to heaven!"
"You're the chosen ones!"
"You are superior to non-believers!"
"You have the right to kill them all!"
"And take all their stuff!"

It's the same thing governments do today, but with "god" and immortality as the prominent lies.

But while you'd think religion and governments have a duopoly on this market, think again.  The human demand for pretty lies is insatiable.  There's trillions more to go around!  And the private sector also wants its share of this racket.

Enter in:

the media
Hollywood
the fashion industry
Oprah/The View/Daytime talk shows
Reality TV
Academia

and a whole host of other industries designed to lie right to people's faces so they mindlessly part with their money.

And that is the industry Amy Schumer is in. 

Sadly, the free market has determined that Amy's skills as a comedian, though impressive, are outshone by her ability to sell lies.  Yes there are likely thousands, tens of thousands, even perhaps millions of people who would buy her DVD or buy tickets to her shows.  But there is MORE demand from (predominantly) overweight women who want to believe that there is something wrong with society and men for liking and being attracted to skinny chicks.  Thus why nobody has heard of Amy's latest comedy tour (if she even has one), but EVERYBODY knows how fat her thighs look.

The result is the confusion (and frustration) we're all enduring over the inexplicable popularity of Amy Schumer.  She is not an actress of any type, she isn't funny when propagandizing politics, and I really am sick and tired of seeing her fat ass showing up everywhere on facebook.  However, we all have to realize that all of this "Amy Schumer All the Time Show" is not intended for us, but rather the mindless sheeple whose lives are so void of meaning they need to live off of lies.

Schumer's antics are not to agitate conservatives or libertarians.
Schumer's showmanship is not to anger men over what they should or should not find attractive.
Just like People Magazine, the "Schumer Media Blitz" is to tell sad, pitiful women the lie that big is beautiful, all women are gorgeous, and they can "have it all" (TM), etc. etc.

There is of course a problem.

These lies don't come free

Yes there are the few dollars here or there women spend on magazines or any media outlet willing to publish a body-positive piece of propaganda.  And yes, anybody using Ms. Schumer as a marketing tool will get those ladies' hard earned dollars as well.  But the real price is these women waste their lives in a delusional world thinking:

Big is beautiful!
"Loud and proud" is a noble aim.
And men are shallow for not liking overweight, obnoxious women!

Which condemns them to living in a delusional world, guaranteeing them no real success with the opposite sex, finding a quality man, or having a healthy, functional family.  They will have wasted their one shot in life, their minute spark of existence in this universe on lies, and that's a higher price paid than all the taxes paid to governments and all the tithes paid into all the world's religions.  If you think about it, it's actually quite precious and full of poetic justice.  It almost makes you want to cheer Ms. Schumer on.



Sunday, February 14, 2016

This is Why You Want to Work a Government Job

Skips work for 6 years and nobody notices!

This is How You Sell Diversity

I would totally be on board with diversity if they pushed it like this.

Cappy's Adventures in Salton Sea and California

My adventures took me from Yuma, AZ, around the Salton Sea, through the back way to Del Mar (San Diego) and then up the PCH 1 to Balboa Island.  If you ever want to visit a city entirely based on the meth trade I recommend Bombay Beach.  If you want a place where people have all their teeth and aren't collecting a government check, I recommend Balboa Island.













Friday, February 12, 2016

Why I Don't Work for Ernst and Young

And will never open up a division in the UK.

Hmmmm....maybe Ernst and Young could hire Asshole Consulting.  They're going to need it.

San Diego Meet Up Tonight!

8PM
Sanctuary Lounge in Northern San Diego
12090 Scripps Summit Dr, San Diego, CA 92131
Friday

See youse guys then!

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Cappy's Adventures in Mexico

Took a quick trip south of the border yesterday.  Went from Phoenix, Arizona down to Puerto Penasco, Mexico.  Lot's of cacti and old people from Wisconsin dancing with trailers!














Remember kids, leave "Enjoying the Decline" to the professionals!

A Kind Review of "Curse of the High IQ"

Many thanks!

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Episode #133 of the Clarey Podcast FROM MEXICO!!!

Cappy podcasts from Mexico!
Mexicans need to up their game..and speed limits
Concrete-block wielding meth heads
Cappy simplifies the 2016 presidential campaign

AND MORE!!!

In THIS EPISODE of The Clarey Podcast!!!

For English Teachers, Grammar Nazis, and Typo Twats Everywhere

Please sit down and take this humble note from the master:


Tuesday, February 09, 2016

Cappy's Adventures in Sedona, Jerome, and Prescott!





And this girl FORCED herself into my bed at the end of the night!


Monday, February 08, 2016

Today's High IQ Girl Eye Candy is Cindy

Alright boys, pay attention.

Cindy was very kind to volunteer to take this pic to help the Ole Captain out and to give you yahoos something prettier to look at than charts.  Kind of like a WWII pinup girl/Rita Hayworth helping the soldiers out on the battlefield against socialism and SJW's.

Anyway, if you'd be so kind to help her out if you have a need for a model to model...well...anything, young Cindy would appreciate it very much.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1522813756/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1522813756&linkCode=as2&tag=captaicapit0b-20&linkId=2ALZB2ECX7ULK2F4


Oh yeah, and there's a book or something in the picture there too.